Thank you. you complete my life for the past (almost) years. when i look back in my life, it's like a fucking roller coaster ride
in the following context, when i write "he was the only one there for me"
i really meant it. he heard me cry in the middle of the night cos i was so lonely, he was there when my family condemn me, he was holding my hand when i was at the hospital alone, he will wake up to acc me to the toilet just becos i said im scared. Friends were always there for me, but no one ever did it like L. he was an angel sent. my angel sent. guiding my every step and looking out for me in every way he could. when i need someone most, he was the only one there for me. when i was breaking down, he was the only one there for me. when i was at the stage of suicial, he was the only one there for me. when im at my happiest, he will be the first person sharing all my joy.
you gave me all you could, i know that. and i wanna thank you with all my heart. you, will never be out of my life cos i'll never let you out.you will always have a part of me. you will always be my "nanny boo boo", my late-nights mate, my bestest friend on earth. its funny after everything, u pissing irritating me and driving me up the wall and all the tears that you caused me and everything, we are still this close.
p/s: i must repeat myself again, remember the promise we made.
L always hit me with qns that i can never answer back
"why are you waiting for someone
who has never been there during your hardest times?
why are loving someone who will never love you back?
you tried to change for him and did he do anything?
you told her you love him and did he say anything?"
he got me thinking
maybe he was right this time
i am waiting for something that will never return to me
maybe he was right this time
i should try loving someone else all over again
and move on with my life, normally.
is it really time for me to give up and move on?
have this dream last night. i dreamt that L was in goldsmiths with me and we share the same hall/room
and he has to push me off the bed to wake me up for my lects (damn L! this is not the way to treat your friend
alright?!) *haha and when i dash out of the room for my lect, he went to the balcony and shouted "fuck j**, i
hate her! and you fucking come back earlier to cook me dinner!"
(i made sushi and dinners for you before dont be demanding! i will not make you dinner again!)
dreeeeeem on *haha
i swear im having weird dreams lately *haha
now i shall go write my fucking 1500 word essay which is fucking due in 24 hours time. fuck fuck fuck
i tried loving but i cant. someone else is in my mind, i cant deny
but my feelings for you, it's just unexplainable
you have made your decision, so i can only respect that
"love makes the world go round
coupling is good for your mental and physical heal
our sex lives and bank account
it gives us legitimacy
a place to fit inside the larger world
but if you aint grownup when you say "i do"chamber are you will soonsharing in laws, money, house work and
will either help you grow or break you apart
romantic love challenges us to become whole the way nothing else will
we go into thinking we will learn another person
secretly hoping for their stamp of approval
instead we end up learning most about ourselves"